Monday, May 17, 2010

TMZ Exclusive: Obama Auditioned for New Robin Hood Movie

A report by the popular celebrity news website released late Sunday has revealed that President of the United States Barak Obama auditioned for the new version of Robin Hood that was released on the silver screen this week. Obama reportedly auditioned for the lead role of Robin Hood, a role that eventually was given to Russell Crowe.

Reportedly, when asked by the producers as to his qualifications to portray the great child hero, the President boasted of his numerous current and planned policies. “My healthcare bill, the stimulus package, and planned tax increases make me more than qualified to play a character that steals from the rich and gives to the poor”.
The President apparently made a few suggestions as to how best revise the script. “Instead of Robin Hood just giving out his stolen money to the poor, how about he sets up a council of his merry men, crowning himself the supreme ruler, and in a very dramatic scene, the council can vote on what they think is the true definition of “poor” and who gets the money.  In an intriguing back-story, perhaps a councilman on the fence about the distribution can be promised or threatened (depending on how kid-friendly you want the movie) with the giving or revoking of prime forest real-estate by Robin Hood’s chief-of-staff Little Rham…I mean Little John”.  

The President apparently lost his chance to be cast after insisting that all members of Sherwood Forest have energy-efficient light bulbs.  The President also apparently challenged Robin Hood’s right to bear a bow and arrow. Director and Co-Producer Ridley Scott was upset that the President would not cede these points, feeling the film really could have benefited by featuring, “a President who is more celebrity than politician. I mean his celebration at the DNC in Denver’s Mile High Stadium was crazier than the Oscars.”

The President apparently had lost interest in the project himself when he was told he could not act out the scenes with a teleprompter behind the camera. 

Popular syndicated Radio Host Rush Limbaugh suggested on his show Monday that based on his policies, the President is more suited to play the role of Blinkin from Mel Brook’s parody Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

After Russell Crow was announced as the producer’s choice, the White House scrambled to issue a statement to refute the claim that Robin Hood was the President’s favorite cartoon growing up.  “The President had a particular affinity for Aladdin growing up in…err Hawaii…because of its inspiring story of a downtrodden…err Christian…beating the odds. And we can say with 100% certainty that Jafar was a Republican”.

The President did speak on one issue personally. On the lawn of the White House Sunday, in regard to whether or not he wore tights and how they looked, the President responded, "Can I still use that "don't ask don't tell" thing or did we get rid of that already?"

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